As the father of the controversial “A1Jeff” I need to apologize to the nycbasketball community. I thought I was a watchful father, not quite a helicopter dad, but close enough, I have always monitored his internet habits, and over the past few years it looks like he has run amok on this site without my knowledge. We are truly sorry. There are countless transgressions, violations, name-calling, and other nonsensical desultory remarks and I have no idea how to correct this. I am truly embarrassed, for a second time.

 

The first time, you must know, I am a long-time DOE administrator, and my own son was removed from the classroom and was sent to the rubber room. While the world works, my son writes from his imperial throne in the GULAG of the DOE. He is not a basketball savant, actually he lives on the PSAL website, excavating archival boxscores to prove to you his hoop knowledge. I also must confess he does keep a notebook of all PSAL games played. Coaches and players, I can speak on authority he has never seen your team play. He has a curfew you see. His rankings are all calculated guesswork that he deduced from youtube clippings, tweets of REAL journalists, or his own limited calculus. We really wish he would get out and date someone.

 

You can imagine my shock, to see my own son, a child of the 80s, who still lives with us, to pretend to be the sultan on nycbasketball. I unearthed his electronic trail of deflowering coaches, decapitating those poor guys at Eagle (Why? they always choke in the playoffs leave them alone, I thought) and innocent fans, one night when he forgot to sign out. I discovered that my own flesh hides behind this strange moniker, A1Jeff?: an internet villain's first sin is anonymity, his second, is not using incognito option on his browser.

 

I hope the faithful people of this website can forgive my son’s asinine and foolish ideas. Even recently, he wrote that the PSAL would create a C division. Where did I go wrong? He was a good kid. I feel awful, the poor kids at those named schools may have had heart attacks, same feeling I had when I realized what my son has done. The horror!

 

It is also my duty to let the community in on what the PSAL is really trying to do next year. Before the spring vacation principals, as I am one, received an email.

 

Good afternoon PSAL Boys Basketball Coaches, Athletic Directors, and Principals,

Thank you for all of your efforts and contributions to another successful PSAL Boys Basketball season.

As we wrap up the 2016-17 basketball season and look to next year, we will continue to align each of our basketball divisions based on the below criteria:

AA Division - Highly competitive division (Schools opt in regardless of enrollment).

MY TRANSLATION: (At this level you must recruit, steal, borrow, trade, convert Catholics to heathens or infidels, (sorry CHSAA), be able to get a change of address done quickly, have access or the ability to change grades, create phony safety transfers, or have an AAU coach on staff)

A & B Divisions - Overall school/ campus enrollment & male / female enrollment data will determine the team's placement in either A or B division.  Enrollment data will be compiled at the end of the 2016-17 school year.

*** School teams may opt to participate in a higher division (see TRANSLATION ABOVE) than the enrollment based classification, but will not be permitted to participate in a lower division than the enrollment based classification.

On behalf of the PSAL basketball staff I hope you enjoy your well deserved Spring recess!”

Thank goodness there will be no C classification, there is a lot of bad basketball going around. A C division would have just killed it. And it looks like the PSAL will attempt to do what every State Basketball Authority in this great country has always done- group schools by size. What a novel idea-

 

After flipping through I see the more time you spend on this website, the less you know about nyc basketball. My own conclusion is this site is mostly about people who don’t coach basketball arguing with people who coach basketball for a living. My son, A1Jeff people, is not a basketball or even a softball coach. He is a charlatan. Growing up he was always limited, we hoped he could become a substitute teacher at best or work at the laundromat at worst. Now I see he’s become an unruly dictator on the website, I am not sure how he managed himself into such a state of moral confusion. (I am confused too; why did they put this Dicks Basketball Highlights segment here and how the heck did Rudy King, Long Live NIA Prep, coach in the Jordan game?), yes we get it, the best players in the country do not play in our fair city. We are not moving to Seattle or Indianapolis just to watch good high school basketball. I digress.

 

Coaches, fake-coaches, fans, and players continue posting, (I do hope the poor guy from the school formerly known as Acorn has recovered). What a win by Walton by the way. Everyone enjoy the NBA Playoffs, summer basketball, offseason, sessions with your trainers, or whatever you do from now until October. Be well, and hopefully my son hasn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or careers.  


FatherOfA1Jeff

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FatherofA1Jeff, You're 16 days late in posting your creative & witty commentary. It should have been posted on April 1 ;)

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